And You Can Have My Heart To Break
by stinkybinky
Summary: Cuddy and House kissed and are headed down a new path. Where will it take them? Spoilers for "Joy" and "The Itch"
1. Coming and Going

**Disclaimer: **_**Only in my wildest fantasies to I own anything, let alone House. I own nothing. I just love to play with them!**_

**Fandom: House, MD.**

**Pairing: Huddy**

**Title: And You Can Have My Heart To Break**

**Rating: NC-17 for lotsa SEX! (in later chapters)**

**Warnings: Spoilers for 5 x 06 "Joy" and 5x07 "The Itch"**

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House limped towards his motorcycle. He told himself he wasn't running. He was avoiding the biggest mistake of his life. _Wilson must be making me soft,_ he thought. What was he thinking showing up at Cuddy's door again?

He finally decided that he had hopped on his bike earlier because he simply wanted to see if she was at home pining over him, all weepy and girly. The urgency was simply to make sure he hadn't screwed up too much. After all, the last thing he wanted was more awkward days at work.

He accelerated on his bike. He needed to get away fast, although he wasn't quite sure what he was running from.

_She wasn't pining though_, he remembered, as the crisp Princeton air washed over him, _she seemed relaxed, content – even happy- happy without him. Who was he to burst in and take that from her? She was fine. And damnit, so was he_! His mind wandered to the image of Cuddy quietly reading beside the soft lamp light_. God she looked beautiful in the moonlight…_

_Beautiful? _

_Moonlight? _

**That was it.**

He was going to go home, drink a beer, order a sport on pay per view (preferably one with a lot of blood and violence) and kill Wilson – though not necessarily in that order. With that in mind, House disappeared into the night, the sweet lavender smell of Cuddy's porch remaining as passenger on his motorcycle…

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Cuddy warmed up a cup of her favorite herbal tea. She hadn't slept in three days. Not since Joy, not since that night, not since House had kissed…

"TWEET!!!"

Cuddy was startled out of her thoughts by the sound of the kettle. _Damn! – she was thinking about him again_. It seemed that her thoughts wandered to that moment in her hallway over and over, despite her best efforts to think of _**anything**_else.

She placed her cup down on the coffee table and picked up the old book. The pages were slightly yellowed and a bit tattered, and they had that familiar scent of something more valuable than currency.

She opened the book and leaned back in her chair, cup in hand, held her breath for a moment and read the inscription in the front cover.

_**Cuddy-**_

_**Despite your nonstop chatter about this author guy over the past 16 years – I still don't get what excites you about his writing. He hasn't mentioned naked women, rock and roll, or cars once in this whole book!**_

_**I figured that finding this at the antique shop Wilson dragged me to would shut you up. Or at least keep you busy enough to stop interrupting me during General Hospital with useless things like bloody ER patients and meetings with the hospital attorney.**_

_**You can thank me by not waking me during my clinic duty nap in Exam Room 3.**_

_**Try not to get too excited, I saved money by showing the owner a picture of you and telling him that you would flash him the next time you were in town.**_

_**If you do get excited though…feel free to join me in Exam Room 3.**_

_**Anyway…happy birthday… I guess**_

_**- House**_

_**P.S. Lucky you - another year and the funbags are still perky!**_

Cuddy closed the book and sighed.

She got up, grabbed her car keys, and, forgetting her coat, headed for her car.


	2. Sleepless Nights

_**Thanks for the wonderful reviews. It made me write more!**_

Hours passed. House finished the remaining drops of beer, shut off the television and watched the hands on the clock click to exactly 3 am before picking up the phone. As he dialed Wilson's number, he grabbed his CD player remote and hit play. Within thirty seconds Wilson was woken up to the loudest, most abhorrent heavy metal blasting in his ear.

House smiled. He could almost hear Wilson cringe. Revenge was sweet.

He turned the music off and waited…

"HOUSE!"

"Not so loud Wilson, its late you know…"

"I can only assume", Wilson continued, ignoring his friend's smug response "that your phone call from hell means that you haven't asked Cuddy out yet."

"Not going to."

"House, we discussed this earlier. Do I have explain again why this could work? Do I need to remind you how smart…"

"Yeah yeah smart, funny, hot, big ass", House interrupted, "So I've heard. Like I said Jimbo, if you like her so much why don't you ask her out."

"Because until about five minutes ago, I was sleeping like a baby, while you were wishing cuddy was…"

"Having a _**STAFF**_ meeting with me?"

"I was going to say kissing you again", Wilson chuckled, "but the point is you were thinking of her."

"SMASH"

A crashing sound came from outside of House's apartment.

"Got to go Jimmy Boy. Something came up"

"House that better not have a double mean…."

House hung up. Something was rustling around outside. A mystery. What better way to avoid thinking about …

"Cuddy." House said quietly as he open the door a crack.

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Cuddy was crawling around the hallway outside House's apartment on her knees. The contents of her purse were everywhere. Cuddy sighed. This couldn't be going any worse.

It had taken her four hours to work up enough courage to walk into House's building. She had driven around for what seemed like an eternity, reviewing what she wanted to say word for word in her head until it became a mantra. After a few wobbly attempts to exit the vehicle, cuddy finally got out of her car, adjusted her shirt, checked her makeup and made the decision that it was now or never. Unfortunately it seemed, now, was ten to three in the morning.

All logic pointed toward her going back. It was too late. He'd be asleep, tired. He wouldn't hear her out.

Cuddy smiled. How many times had he showed up on her doorstep, unannounced, at this hour – later even? The irony wasn't lost on her as she approached the building's doorway, took one last look back at her car and walked in.

She was ready.

She was strong.

She could handle anything.

She…

…tripped on the last step of the second floor landing, scraping her knee, dropping her purse and spilling everything in it along the entire length of the corridor.

She was making a mistake.

She had to leave now.

She couldn't handle this.

At least his door was closed. There was still time to gather everything and make her escape. This was definitely a bad idea.

Crawling on her knees to get the last few remnants of her bag, Cuddy heard the door to House's apartment open.

"House", she said quietly as he opened the door a crack.


	3. Safe and Warm

_**Your reviews have made me enjoy writing again! I can't thank you enough!!**_

House leaned against the threshold, head tilted. A small smile crept up his face as he realized that Cuddy was splayed across his doorstep on all fours, her head turned to face him while her backside lingered in his direction.

"Wow Cuddy- you really know how to put the _**booty**_ in 'Booty Call'!"

Cuddy gritted her teeth. "I am not here for a booty call House."

She sat down, rubbing her palm over her bruised knee. "I'm not sure why I'm here actually". Cuddy's voice was soft, quivering.

House looked at her. Her hair was tousled. Little wavy ringlets rested over the corner of her right eye. Her stockings were torn and there was a dusty residue on the hem of her skirt. Her lips had curled into a remorseful pout. Her hot flushed cheeks formed a stark contrast to her icy blue eyes, which were now staring at House, willing him to understand.

House swallowed hard. 'Strong Forceful Cuddy' was hot, 'Angry Heated Cuddy' was gorgeous, but, House noted to himself, 'Troubled Sensitive Cuddy' was probably the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

And it scared him to death.

"Can I come in?", Cuddy wasn't sure where this was going, but her knee was bleeding, it was the middle of the night, and it seemed the can of worms had already been opened.

House nodded silently, and offered her the end of his cane as a life preserver – in more ways than one.

Together, they both limped into his apartment.

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Cuddy was hobbling over to House's couch as he came out of the bathroom with his makeshift first aid kit.

"Hey! No making fun of the cripple!"

Cuddy rolled her eyes, and allowed herself a brief smile "I'm injured house. I'm not making fun of you."

She glanced at the medical bag in House's hand and took a mental inventory of its components: band-aids, gauze, antiseptic, a bottle of scotch and six vials of Vicodin.

"House!" Cuddy shrieked, "You call this first aid?!"

"You obviously haven't tried the House method of paid management"

"Narcotics and alcohol are not emergency items"

"Maybe not for you."

They laughed, each relaxing a bit and allowing themselves to enjoy the moment, taking refuge in their natural banter.

House lifted Cuddy's leg onto his lap, suddenly very aware of her presence in his apartment. They sat in silence as she allowed him to examine her injury, though it was nothing more than a bruise.

He danced his fingertips over the soft fabric of her stocking making his way up from her ankle. They looked at each other, memories of the other night flooding them instantly. The moist warmth of each other lips, the sound of hearts racing, the familiarity of each others arms, the shelter of their embrace.

Slipping a finger underneath the tear in the stocking, Housed tugged, ripping off the remainder of material.

"House!"

"Relax Cuddy. Can't get a band-aid on you wound through all this girly nylon"

Their eyes met as his hand continued to stroke. He painted soft circles around her knee and up to her thigh and she released a soft breath. The warmth of his palm melted into her skin and she relaxed under his touch. He wanted to make her feel better. Make her bruise better, Make everything better. He never wanted to let go.

Cuddy relaxed her body into his touch. The dull ache in her knee had long disappeared. She nuzzled up to Houses couch pillow and inhaled his scent deeply as he took her other leg into his hand. Her eyelids grew heavy. The sleep that had evaded her for so long washed over her. In that moment no conversation was necessary. In that moment everything felt just right.

House smiled as cuddy drifted to sleep beside him, whispering her final waking thought so quietly, he almost missed it.

"more…"


	4. Nightmares and Dreams

_**Please, Please keep reviewing and I'll update super-fast. Hope you enjoy….**_

House rolled around in bed as the sun began to pierce the corner of his window. He had reluctantly left Cuddy on the couch a few hours ago, after he was satisfied that the memory of every inch of her toned legs was emblazoned in his mind

House was aggravated. His head pounded and his mind raced, as feelings of unfulfilled arousal, fear and curiosity invaded his thoughts. He knew that the morning meant the inevitable; a conversation about the other night, followed by one of Cuddy's lectures about emotions, followed by a heated argument, followed, of course, by _**disaster**_, This was exactly why he hadn't knocked at her door, hadn't told her that he….

This was why change was bad.

House sighed and stared at his ceiling. Why did her legs have to be so smooth? Why did she have to let him touch her for so long? Why did she have to moan softly in her sleep? How could a few minutes of friction with this woman's legs make him harder than he'd ever been before? Evil woman. How could…

"DON'T TAKE HER! PLEASE! NO! NO! NO! NO! STOP THEM – THEY'RE TAKING HER!"

House sat up abruptly. Cuddy was screaming. He could hear the fear and anguish in her voice as her cries echoed throughout his apartment. Grabbing his cane, House shuffled into the living room as fast as he could.

"Cuddy - wake up. It's a dream Cuddy. It's just a dream…" House shook her softly.

Cuddy began to pull at his T-shirt. Her eyes were opened, but she was still drowning in her dream, unaware of her surroundings.

"STOP THEM HOUSE – THEY'RE TAKING HER!" She cried as tears poured down her cheeks.

"Stop them", her voice grew softer, "Please! Why won't you stop them? They have her. Please House. Please!" She pulled House's shoulder to her face and began to weep, shaking uncontrollably.

"It's ok Cuddy. It's going to be ok." House whispered has he stroked her hair gently. "I'm here" He caressed the back of her neck and openly whispered words of encouragement into her ear, knowing that in a few seconds she would be awake, and his words, like her dream would fade, and slowly disappear from memory.

"House?" Cuddy leaned back, letting go of her tight grip on his shoulder._ I'm still here…_ she thought as she began to get her bearings. She was on House's couch. Joy was long gone…

"Geez Cuddy - Can't a man get a decent nights sleep in his own home anymore?"

"Like you never wake me up!"

"You know… this is not exactly what I meant when I offered to make you scream in my apartment."

"I …I…must have had a nightmare." Cuddy muttered.

House looked at her and placed a stray hair behind her ear. "About the baby?" he asked softly.

"Yeah."

House lowered his head and nodded. They remained quiet for a brief moment, silently recognizing that there were no appropriate words.

He stood up. "You weren't asleep very long. You should rest. More importantly, I should rest."

Cuddy nodded. House was right. Morning had broken, but it was still too early to leave and House wasn't even going to pretend to listen to what she had to say at this ungodly hour. Cuddy leaned back on the couch.

"Oh no you don't!" House interrupted her and yanked at her arm. "I'm not running in here the next time you have a bad dream. In case you haven't noticed, I have a bum leg."

Cuddy rolled her eyes.

"You can take the other side of my bed. That way I can slam my hand over your mouth if you start screeching again."

"House…"

"And don't think of taking advantage of me. I _**am**_ going to need _**some**_ sleep you know, if I'm supposed to make it into work by noon."

"House…" Cuddy sighed, exasperated.

"Stop thinking so much."

House took Cuddy's hand in his own and for the second time that night, they limped together through his apartment.

Cuddy lay down and closed her eyes, wondering if sleep was possible after such a vivid nightmare. She felt house get into the bed and turned to face him. It had been a while since she had slept next to someone, and it had been even longer since she had wanted that someone beside her. House's eyes fluttered and began to shut. Pushing her fears aside, she took his hand.

"Cuddy?" House whispered, as sleep began to pull both of them under.

"Yeah…"

"About that kiss..."

"Yeah…"

"I liked it."

And with those words House and Cuddy disappeared into unconsciousness leaving their pain and fears behind, taking only the other with then into their dreams.


	5. Hide and Seek

**WARNING – THIS MAY CONTAIN SOME SPOILERS FOR FUTURE EPISODES**

**Things are just about to get good! And they'll get even better as long as the reviews keep on coming. Your positive words really keep me going!**

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House sat with his feet up on his desk, bouncing his 'thinking ball' off the wall. He had woken up late this morning, instinctively running his hand over the other side of his bed. He was not surprised to find that Cuddy had already left for work; what did surprise him, however, was a sudden, sharp pang of disappointment invading his sense of relief.

After dragging himself to the hospital, House had successfully managed to avoid Cuddy five times over the past three hours. He hid in the janitor's closet twice, listened to his ipod under Coma Guy's bed, took a nap in the MRI machine, and locked himself in a ladies room stall. Cuddy had managed to figure out his location each time, but had missed him by mere seconds.

House sighed, her business lunch would be ending soon and before he knew it she'd be hot on his trail again. It was time to make himself disappear. Not that this game of cat and mouse wasn't fun, but zipping around the hospital on only a few hours sleep, was exhausting.

_Time to pull out the big guns_, house decided, _time for my_ _last resort_, He groaned. There was only one place left to hide_._

Wishing he could come up with a better idea, House left his office to do the one thing Cuddy would never believe he'd do, in the one place Cuddy would never think to look. Popping three Vicodin into his mouth, Dr. Gregory House headed for The Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital Emergency Room Clinic for an afternoon's worth of clinic duty.

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Cuddy sat on her office sofa and kicked off her shoes. Her feet were killing her. She had spent the better part of her morning hunting for House throughout every inch of the hospital.

It was becoming increasingly important that she and House discuss the growing tension between them. The awkwardness at work had become unbearable over the past few days and, after the things that were said, and unsaid last night, she didn't want to prolong the inevitable. First and foremost she had a hospital to run and she wasn't going to let it fall apart over one kiss... _or_, she smiled, _two kisses…_

Feeling a deep blush forming on her cheeks, Cuddy lifted her hands to her face as she let her mind wander …

_**She had fought with her internal clock for as long as possible before giving in and opening her eyes this morning. **_

_**She awoke, finding herself lying on top of House, her hand still intertwined with his, **_

_**She watched him, unable to look away. His brow was furrowed, and he faintly shuddered, haunted by his own thoughts even in his slumber. His arm was on her back, trembling softly, holding her close to him. She guided her palm over his chest; she could feel the beat of his heart so deeply, it was as though she held it in her hand. **_

_**Cuddy lifted her head and felt his stubble graze her. She traced her fingers over the edge of his cheekbone. Closing her eyes, she allowed her lips to tenderly touch his before reluctantly getting out of bed. **_

"DR CUDDY!"

Startled from her thoughts, Cuddy looked up. Her assistant Tom stood in her doorway wringing his hands nervously.

"Tom you're as pale as a ghost. What's going on?"

"There's a man in the clinic arguing with Dr. House'

Aggravated, Cuddy rubbed her temples. "So what else is new?"

"Dr- Cuddy...He's got a gun."

Cuddy stood up, and, knocking Tom to the ground, bolted down the corridor.


	6. Impending Doom

_**Thank you for the amazingly sweet reviews, especially to those of you who left detailed comments! I'm glad that you're all as excited about this story (and this season) as much as I am. Please keep reviewing; your words mean so much. **_

_**If you like it so far, let me know, and the next chapter will be written after tonight's episode (and the preview for next week).**_

_**--Tiff**_

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House stared down the barrel of a gun.

The clinic had been evacuated, short of a three doctors and a handful of unlucky patients who had been ordered to line up against a back wall. Only House and his captor remained center stage, as all eyes were upon them.

House spoke. "Listen buddy. I've been shot before and I'm sure I'll be shot again. The only thing this little show of yours is going to do is get me out of clinic duty for the next few months."

The man holding the gun roared with laughter. "I've done my homework Dr. House. In fact I know more about you than anybody in this hospital. This gun isn't for you; the _**mystery**_ of my illness is for you. I know that once you hear my symptoms you won't be able to resist diagnosing me. There's nothing you care about more than finding the solution – is there Dr. House? Not your friends. Not your family. Not even your life. No. This gun isn't for you. It's my little guarantee that we won't be disturbed."

House rolled his eyes. "Oh please. Are you aware of how many people think they _**know**_ the real me?" House pointed at Cameron. "Little miss perky over there thinks I'm a fixer upper. Her boyfriend thinks I'm always right. My best friend thinks I need more romance in my life. Do you know what the one thing is that they have in common? **THEY'RE ALL IDIOTS!** If you're so sure I'll take your case, why don't you put down the gun and whine about your symptoms like every other patient?"

The emergency room grew eerily silent. The gunman's eyes were fixed on House. A vicious smile crept up his face as he turned toward his hostages and fired a single shot at the crowd. The room erupted with screams of terror as a small girl collapsed, blood pouring from her thigh.

"Now why'd you go and do that for?" House murmured, as Cameron began to clean up the girl's wound. "Do you know how hard it is to clean up blood?"

The man's face grew stern. "Let me make one thing clear Dr. House. Just because I have no intention of shooting you, does not mean that I won't kill for what I want. You will either listen to me or watch as everyone around you dies, one by one."

He continued, "Even if their well being doesn't concern you, I'm sure your career does – seeing as its all you've got. Even Dr. Cuddy won't be able to save your sorry ass after you ignore my wishes and let innocent people die."

House looked down at his shoes. This guy was good. He would have to listen to this the man's story for now until he could come up with a diagnosis, or a way out – whichever came first. _Great_, he thought_, now I have to avoid Cuddy and death. I hate this damn clinic._

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All non-essential personnel and non-critical patients were beginning to be evacuated. By order of the gunman, the policed had been instructed to remain in the hospital lobby awaiting further demands.

Cuddy arrived at the clinic in record time. The ER had been abandoned. Alone and locked out, she stood in silence, gazing through the clinic's glass doors. Her heart sank as she spotted House being held at gunpoint. The all too familiar feeling or fear washed over her. House's antics had put her in this position way too often. She held her breath, overcome by thoughts of impending doom.

Cuddy grew weak. The tenderness of House's touch still echoed on her skin. They had been cocooned in the warmth of each others arms only hours ago. _How could this happen now_? Lightheaded and shrouded in worry, Cuddy slid down the doorway into a sitting position, her hands covering her eyes. "This can't be happening again." she whispered to herself as the prospect of unbearable loss tore her heart to shreds. Feeling helpless, Cuddy drew her legs to her chest, unable to move.

**BANG!**

A shot rang out from inside the clinic.

Startled, Cuddy turned to see Cameron and a few others tending to a wounded girl. Scolding herself for selfishly feeling relieved that it wasn't House, Cuddy made a decision.

Standing up, wiping away a single tear, Dr. Cuddy banged on the Clinic door, demanding the gunman's attention.


	7. A Life for A Life

_**I'm sorry this took so long. I was completely uninspired for a few days. However, recent spoilers have perked me up again. Thanks so much for reviewing. It what makes me want to continue.**_

_**I promise to have the next chapter up tomorrow night (if you guys want me to…)**_

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Cuddy continued to knock as the gunman headed for the door grinning. "Ah…look Dr. House, just as I expected… our guest of honor has arrived in a valiant effort to save her precious hospital."

House cringed as he watched the man approach her. _**Cuddy why the hell didn't you get out of here with everybody else? **_

"Dr. Cuddy so nice of you to join us"

Taken aback at the familiarity in the man's tone, Cuddy stuttered, "How…how do you know who I am?"

Once again the gunman's laugh reverberated through the silence of the empty hospital. He looked at Cuddy, his face turning stone cold.

"**BITCH!"**

Suddenly, and without warning, he lifted his hand and smacked Cuddy sharply across her cheek.

Cuddy fell to the floor gasping, desperately holding back tears. House dropped his cane and ran as best he could. Forcing himself into an awkward sitting position beside Cuddy, he lifted his hand to her cheek assessing any damage.

Smiling once again, the gunman allowed the scene to unfold before him, curious about House's concern over a slap in the face when he hadn't so much as lifted a finger to help the gunshot victim.

"Cuddy, Jesus!" House whispered, "So you figured out where I was – you didn't have to come in here and gloat."

Cuddy's lips curled into a small smile. "House my hospital is on the line. Not everything has to do with you."

"Maybe not. But this does. You should be out there being an administrator, doing this the right way with hostage negotiators. Instead you're in here getting beat up by a madman." Turning to the gunman, house added, "No offense nutcase."

The gunman moved closer to House and Cuddy who sat huddled together on the floor of the clinic. "Oh…she's going to get more than beat up." When I'm through with her, I'll have a shiny new diagnosis, and you Dr. House, will have a brand new Dean of Medicine."

House grabbed Cuddy's waist as she leaped toward the man, "You bastard! Why are you doing this?!" Cuddy screamed.

"I, Dr. Cuddy, am doing this because of you! Don't you remember our little chats over the past three years? I pleaded with you to let me meet with Dr. House over and over again." his voice grew soft, "I was sick Dr. Cuddy, and you denied me help again and again!"

Looking closer as the man continued, Cuddy remembered. He was much weaker now, his skin was jaundiced and the rings under his eyes were deeper. His illness had obviously taken its toll. He had called many times looking for House and had come in begging for an appointment. Cuddy had tried to get House to take the case, but House, being House, didn't find it interesting enough.

"Sam Daniels.", Cuddy whispered.

"So you do remember? Excellent. Now you'll know the name of the man that takes your life" He snarled. "My body has deteriorated since we last spoke. I've been given only six months to live. Even when Dr. House diagnoses me – it will be too late. So you see Dr. Cuddy, An eye for an eye. A life for a life."

Taking a few steps toward a hospital bed, he continued, his evil grin once again plastered on his face, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to have your wonderful staff here assist me in getting some equipment ready so that you, House and I can play doctor."

Cuddy began to tremble, her breaths were uneven, and a tiny whimper escaped her mouth.

House swept his arms around her small frame and brought her in close. "Shhhh…" he whispered, "I'm not going to let him touch you. Do you hear me Cuddy? He will not touch you." House softly stroked Cuddy's bruised cheek as she looked up at him frozen with fear. Her bruise was dark crimson and slightly swollen. Her eyes were puffy, and remnants of tears rested on her lower lids.

"C'mon Cuddy… breathe." House continued, "I told you I won't let that lunatic near you and you know I always get my way." He forced a smile

Sliding his fingers down her cheekbone, House gently cradled her face in his hand. Lifting her chin he allowed his thumb to wash over her bottom lip. Unexpectedly overcome with emotion, torn apart with gratitude for her presence and fear for her life, House bent down and brought his lips to hers.


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